I took a step back

I apologize for not posting for nearly a month. I have taken a step back and also a jump forward. I am beginning a new era for my life. A significant new chapter. I am attempting to go back to college to pursue a bachelor's degree in order to get into a position to become a teacher.

For a vast majority of my life (I will be 40 this year) people around me have recognized the gift I have for sharing my knowledge. Some use words that aren't family friendly, others simply say, "you should be a teacher".

If it all goes as planned, I will attend the Art Institute of Pittsburgh beginning in May. Depending on the class load will of course determine the graduation date. I plan on majoring in Photography with a minor in web design, fashion or advertising.

On a totally different, but possibly parallel note....I found this video that I really wanted to share.

To ME, this video kind of brings together the ability as humans to find a common ground and that if we just take the time to smile, dance and laugh....we can be better stewards of this big blue marble called Earth.



Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

Dismal response

Maybe my pictures suck, or I didn't get the perfect shot, or it's confusing. But after a week, absolutely NO ONE has inquired about the Cheer Ltd. Dance/Cheer at Robert Morris University last week. The perfectionist in me say's the pictures suck. The business person in me says no one knows how to access the sales site and email me the image number. Of course, a big issue that causes difficulty in finding and ordering pictures is that the web sites that exist to SELL prints all want 40% of the sale. That's a big chunk of change. It's almost not worth it to sell a picture for $6 and only get a few bucks out of it. Can't replace camera gear at that rate.

I was excited about the initial response from parents when I was giving out my cards at the event. But something happened, I just don't know what it was. That is the bane of shooting on "spec". I bust my butt getting the best images I can (over 2,200 that day). I take two days editing, creating web galleries and blog posts and get zero dollars for it. Lots of people can take pictures. Lots of people can take really good pictures, especially with all the low cost digital cameras out there. But are you getting "exceptional" pictures consistently? Or is it "eh, it's acceptable". You're settling for McDonald's images when you could have a meal prepared by a chef....so to speak.

I know even I have to work hard at exceptional images and I missed several key opportunities. But this was my very first indoor cheer/dance event. What I did get was good, but I know I can do much better.

Transform.....a perspective

Wow. Just simply WOW.

I just got done sending up a tweet saying I need a case of the Jarvis. So I headed to Chases blog to see what he was up to and saw this video from Zack Arias. I wasn't going to watch it but since I wasn't exactly doing anything right now, it was a coin flip. I think the video can apply to all walks of life. But it hits home seriously hard to creative types. Of course Zack is an image maker, so I can directly relate. I suck. He doesn't.

You rocked it Zack! You rocked it!

Here's the video.

In the presence of greatness

Wow. I was excited when Chase Jarvis followed me on Twitter. Now Mark J. Rebilas added me. I have seen Mark's work over on SportShooter for a few years now and regularly read his blog. Mark embellishes the sports work I want to achieve and Chase is the visioneer that I hope to become.

Now, if I can only find that twitter-elixer that has the magic of osmosis via the web......

The state of Photograpy

The level of fear that is running rampant across the world is getting really really bad. Via photoattorney.com I found the War on Photography blog that has reports of photographers getting harrassed. As a photographer that often takes pictures in public places, this situation puts fear in my job and that isn't a place one wants to be.

In the winter of 2007, I was walking around my town taking pictures of various buildings and such. I was followed by one of the business owners and he questioned who I was and what I was doing.

Why can't we all get along?

A fire deep inside

Over the past few weeks, I have been rekindling my desire to create images that are truly stunning. I've been watching videos on YouTube by photographers that are living the dream. Visiting the web sites of photographers that are my inspiration. It has resulted in the rekindling of the fire that burns deep in my psyche.....

....more to come.....much more!

Year end blowout

Here it is. The beginning of a new year. As I look back, and dwell, or hide, from what has happened this last year, I will share my thoughts.

I have made some great images. I have missed many opportunities for great images. I have met a lot of really wonderful people, faces I remember, names I may not. Many whom I have created wonderful images with. Some people I have left hanging and it keeps me awake at night. A few that I have given my card to, those random people off the street, may have missed a chance to work with me. I have put forth good will and have been taken advantage of. After being burned a few times, I realize this is a business and not a social beer drink night. I still lose sleep from not being able to deliver to a few of you...I am trying to fix that, please belive me.

I have desires that I feel can only be measured through a certain type of success yet my accomplishments appear to be minisucle. My lack of business sense has resulted in me being CENTS-less. I feel that my potential is sky high, yet my motivation has been tempered by fear. I can begin with earnest unbridled fire driven desire, yet I need help with follow up, completion and closure.

I hope that this year will bring be better preparation in order to meet, and take, the opportunities that present themselves. Success can only be taken, I don't feel that is it given. Organization needs to be designed for completion of projects more than efficiency.

My creativity can never take a back seat to standardizing. But getting the money gigs allows me the flexibility to be creative....which SHOULD bring in more money. I am always looking at the future and what can happen, but I fall short when I look right in front of me at what IS happening.

Difference of opinions

After I finished a home project this week I decided to put some of my prints in frames and hang them on the wall in our stairwell. I already had the frames and a lot of prints in sitting in envelopes in a box. The frames are the very simple, very cheap plastic frames you find at a local pharmacy/convenience store in your neighborhood. Most of my prints were 8x12's and the frames were 8x10.

Oops.

I ended up selecting a dozen or so prints that I could trim down to 8x10 size and put into the frames. On the wall, I measured out the start and end frame locations and did my division, then I marked the nail holes. Well, lets just say I got very lucky. I didn't take into account the width of the frames and really by pure luck, I was able to fit the frames in/on the wall side by side.....but only if they were portrait oriented (up and down). The landscape (side to side) frames won't fit on that line on that side of the wall. So I decided to put the landscape frames on the other side of the staircase.

At the bottom of the staircase is our entry way, (where I lay some marble tiles), is an 8 foot wide wall that is about 10 feet tall. I have great plans for that wall, but for now, I will put some pictures there. Actually, three pictures, in one frame. This framed picture set is what the Potter & Raccoon Red Devil Senior Cheerleaders received from me this year. Here is my daughters version.



Yes she's a cheerleader and no, the pictures aren't really that cheery. Sure, it has caused some consternation among the viewers of the picture set. Honestly, I like the fact that those images of her are different. I like different. I also like that it brings about discussion among those that are not afraid to voice their opinions. It doesn't hurt my feelings that viewers don't like it, but not everyone is willing to say how they feel. Well, not to my face anyway. So thus continues my foray into the world of art. It is subjective after all.

A six year journey

Last Saturday was a milestone and the beginning of an end.

We arrived in Pennsylvania in the spring of 2003. A new town, a new state and a new chapter in our lives. My kids were just beginning their foray into the world and I did what all parents do, I got involved.

I signed my daughter up for cheerleading in the town's youth football club. That year was our first year being involved in an organized activity and it was an eye opening experience. So many activities, sights, sounds emotions and expectations.

Forward to last Saturday. My daughter has reached the end of her youth football cheerleader career. She is a "senior" since she is at the age where birthdays determine eligibility. Next year, she will be too old to participate. Difficult to think, that she is getting that old.

I was looking at the group picture and I got a little teary eyed. I know that next year, there will be a new group of incredibly proud and somewhat nostalgic parents looking at pictures of their senior....and wondering where the time went.

I am truly so happy and incredibly proud to be a parent of a P&R cheerleader and a part of the organization known as Potter and Raccoon Football. There are some people in that organization that put in so much time and effort to make the experience a magical moment. I thank them from the depths of my heart for these last two years that we have been a part of your lives and this organization.

Where is "the Next Level"?

Of course the Olympics are upon us. I haven't watched them much, mostly because I am too busy proofing and editing images, creating posters and advertisements, blogging and creating things....TV is a distraction at this point.

But I do read blogs. A Newsweek photographer Vincent Laforet is over in Beijing and his blog has been an open window to us photographers of what it's like to be a photographer in the worlds biggest event. His blog is here and one recent post in particular will let you all know, where I want to be in my future. It is "my" next level.

Being

Merriam Websters dictionary:
Pronunciation: \prə-ˈfesh-nəl, -ˈfe-shə-nəl\
Function: adjective
Date: 1606

1 a: of, relating to, or characteristic of a profession b: engaged in one of the learned professions c (1): characterized by or conforming to the technical or ethical standards of a profession (2): exhibiting a courteous, conscientious, and generally businesslike manner in the workplace


Over the past few weeks, I have been really able to focus.......on "becoming" a professional photographer. Depending on who you talk to, there are a few different definitions of "professional". One is as simple as getting paid for taking pictures. Another is how you "present" yourself and conduct business. Still another is the results of your labors. Are they "snapshots" or do they have some thought put into them and emotion coming out of them.

A basic rule of thumb for photojournalism, is that an image should be able to "tell a story" without any words attached. No cut line or caption. No paragraph of explanations.

Most anyone can pick up a camera today, turn it on set it to a green mode and press the button. The image will in most all circumstances come out exposed properly. But is it "composed" properly. Does that picture tell a story. Will it be one that you return to in 10 years to relive the memories of that particular moment. Will that picture, 20 years now, stir memories in you that you had forgotten. A time, a location or an era.

One that can make those images, time and time again is in my definition a professional. That is what I want to be.

You get out of it what you put into it

Damn those words......

Not sure if it's the caffeine or the desire to succeed....or the fear of failure. But these past few days have been putting my brain on serious overdrive. My creativity naturally gravitates to being most productive from 11pm to about 3am. Maybe it's the lack of outside forces. It's dark, no phone calls, NOTHING on TV and everyone is sleeping.....except me.

I have gone to bed, many nights, only to wake up a few minutes after falling asleep. My mind is a-blur with ideas. Sometimes I jot them down on the notepad next to me, others, I get up and work on them. I hope everything starts to fall into place soon. I need the sleep.

I have also made a friend or two in the (local) photo world these past few weeks. Actually, I met Chris Perry last year after we moved to New Brighton. He added me to a list for a few other photographers in the area. I haven't met any face to face, but we trade emails back and forth. Each of them is making money. Some as part time/hobby, others a strong (read many hours and should be full time) part time, but it's not their career, so to speak. Me, I am in the middle of a perfect storm as it seems. I am putting in a few hours, but not bringing in money. I know why, in a sense. i am laying the ground work, so when the clients do start calling, I only have to shoot, edit print and deliver. Other items will already be taken care of.

It has been relayed to me that one should put about 15-20% of their sales into advertising. OR it can be said to spend 15-20% of what you WANT to make into advertising. For my current advertising budget, I am making exactly the right amount of sales. Nothing in advertising, nothing in sales......ouch.

I did get an inquiry about a family session and should have the opportunity to shoot a few weddings this fall as a 3rd shooter and even as a 2nd shooter. Once the kids head back to school, I hope to have the high school senior portraits trickle in as well. I am working on the poster I will hand out to the schools and businesses. When I get a decent version ready, I will put it up here on the blog for review. Also, my business cards are in print and I hope to get them by the end of the week. It sucks to not have anything on me to let people know I am a photographer. I see so many people I wold love to take pictures of and w/o cards, it's tough to convince them, so I shy away. (Note: I didn't get the cards done until I had the site up and running).

This isn't a "poor-me" blog post, it's a here-it-is-in-your-face blog post telling you what it's like to try and be a photographer in this economy. But I am positive (and somewhat patient) that while we are in an up and down climate, a new wave is coming. We just don't know when. I don't know when. I just hope I can ride a bit of it up.

Narrow thing in a shallow mind

With the Olympics coming up, I happened to read a blog that has photography as it's subject. Over at PopPhoto, Zach Honig has a blog that talks about the photography side of the Olympics.

While I would love to attend the Olympics for the spectacle and to participate in a world event. As a photographer, it would be pretty tough for me to be in the stands and not take pictures. On the bottom of the above post, it has links to an Olympic web page that specifically addresses prohibited items. These pages are here and here. Cameras are mentioned. Point and shoot style will be allowed, but professional looking will not. The quality of P&S cameras is pretty amazing now and many of them take pictures that do rival digital SLR cameras. They have zooms, controllable flash and some manual features that would allow an advanced or professional photographer take pictures that they would be content with.

Maybe it is my shallow thought process, but I don't know if I could attend an event like that and not bring my tools. It would be tough for sure.

Trip summary

Beginning May 1, 2008 I spent the majority of 9 weeks among the Tamarack and Red Fir trees. I woke to the flowing waters of the Naches River in the Wenatchee National Forest not far from Chinook Pass and Mount Rainer. I also ventured to the desert region of the Columbia Basin where sand and nuclear energy co-exist among the flowing waters of the mighty Columbia River. Where wind blown tumbleweeds and sage brush become yard decorations. I was back home in state of Washington.

Goal one was to help a family member with some projects after his retirement. A secondary goal for me was to bring my kids here for their summer vacation. That second goal sadly, failed to materialize.

Of course, I brought my camera equipment to shoot when I could. I tried to save a little money, but I ended up buying some more light stands, a bike from Craigslist and a few dinners. Never resting (photographically speaking), I talked to a lot of people to see if I could take their portraits. Suffice to say, the Yakima/Naches area of Washington is a veritable vacuum of talent. There isn't much here. I even tried to get a MUA (Makeup Artist) to work a shoot, but she didn't find it important to check her messages except once a month. Maybe she was busy, maybe not, either way, it could have been communicated. A few people I wanted to shoot, one was very interested, and kept saying so, but would never commit. Wish I could have that time back. Another was so rude you would have thought I almost ran over her child in the driveway. The project I mentioned MANY MANY weeks ago, will not get done. I had planned on getting environmental portraits of employees of the two restaurants up here in the valley. I planned several poses out for specific people too. But because of their schedules and mine, it will not happen. I will put the idea in my idea book, and hopefully excecute it at another time and or place.

On the other hand, things were/are going well back in New Brighton/Pittsburgh. First, I was selected by Fe Gallery as one of 250 artists to represent Pittsburgh in a 250 year anniversary celebration/project. Secondly, the building where I was planning on putting in a second photo studio is still open and the owner wants to make sure I will be up and running when I get back or soon there after. Still, that "project" is going on seven months overdue. Also worth mentioning, one of the models I shot with in the spring wants to set up another session. She is/has worked with another local photographer because of my images he saw on her MySpace page. Finally, my MUA (well, she's not MINE, but it's the only MUA I work with), wants to shoot with me too. So things are significantly more promising in "da 'Burgh" than here in "the valley".

I did however get to spend some great times with my family here in WA. I attended a graduation, made it for mothers day, did a little golfing (pictures actually) and a family reunion coinciding with a school reunion. Most importantly, I had a great weekend with my wife when she visited for the graduation.

Regarding physical labor, I have shoveled about 7 tons of sand/gravel, screwed in 150+ pounds of 3 inch deck screws and bent more 20 penny nails than I care to admit. I have cut, chopped and loaded hundreds of feet of wood (did I say hundreds?). Painted walls, decks, railings and even myself. After I bought the CraigsList bike, I started riding it. Usually a couple of times a week. But near the end of my "tour" I was riding every day. My longest ride was 15 miles one way (up hill into the wind)(30 mile round trip). Many rides were 10-12 miles on average. Traffic wasn't a big deal, but the wind was. It always seemed to happen to blow towards me regardless of when I rode. Uphill, into the wind just really sucks.

This is not a "look what I have done" posting. It is to inform you all of my summer thus far. I haven't had an epiphany, nor have the clouds parted for the voice of God. However, I have learned a little about my family, my friends, and myself. Not since Air Force Basic Training and Tech School have I worked so hard (physically and mentally) for so long. (By the way, Basic Training is where I learned that the mind gives up sooner than the body). I hope these mini lessons can translate well to running my photography business and I eventually become very, very successful. I am coming to the conclusion that the world needs wood cutters, painters and construction workers. It also needs photographers, in which I plan to add myself to that list.

I hit a wall, and it was effin big

Well, there isn't an easy way to say this, but I was given an ultimatum. I won't get into the details ( did write about it but decided it be better to not post it). So, the gist of the situation is, I will be getting a job this week.

I actually wrote this blog post several days ago, but had to sit on it or I would have said some things I probably would have regretted. I also think the amount of commitment and the amount of work that it takes to get a small business up and running is more than many people are will accept. It is also pretty obvious I don't have the full undying support from my family. But the most disappointing part is that reality has reared it's ugly head and bitten me right square in the ass.

I have been given notice. I have to have a job by next week or bad things may happen.

Yes, the reality of food on the table is rearing it's ugly head. But I am so damn close to getting the photography thing going I can actually see it.

I have been working 60+ hours a week trying to find a studio location, make model/photographer connections, meet with makeup artists, hair stylists, and just last week I finally found someone in the fashion industry. I understand I can't eat dreams or feast on possibilities. But it seems that around every corner a door has opened up.

I had two meetings set up for next Monday with two new makeup artists. I was suppose to have met with the fashion person too sometime next week. But now, it may all be for naught. I made a promise to have a job by the end of next week.....

To many, it's a "yeah, that's what I do anyway". For me, it's pushing the pause on a goal I have had for the 25 years. I was finally able to begin pursuing that goal, and I feel it's getting tossed aside.

I am pretty beside myself at this point. Almost an out of body experience. Or it could be the cold medicine talking.

Be careful what you wish for

I got to speak to a Western PA ex-pat and current Los Angeleno. What she told me wasn't mind blowing or heaven opening and doves descending. But it was illuminating. I briefly discussed my vision and goals. She pretty much said photographers in Pittsburgh suck. But that is a GENERAL statement in comparison to LA photogs. I most definitely didn't take offense to that. She has the ability and experience to compare the two since she has worked in both zip codes. I know my stuff has years to go before I can say I am accomplished. NOTE: For any of you Pittsburgh based photographers, she wasn't commenting on YOU per se. Just the overall quality of work compared to LA based photogs. I mean hello, do we have a SMASHBOX Studios here. Um...NO! Sure that's just a facility. But do you really know who works in those facilities? Yeah, I was impressed to.

Moving on.....

She offered a few tips. Some I had already thought about. Many not. Some of my ideas probably made her stand up and notice. Mostly because I even thought about them at all. Especially in this area. She has contacts. I do not. One of my ultimate goals is to be able to discover someone. I know I won't get any residual or even credit. But knowing as a personal achievement that I was part of that persons career, would be pretty satisfying.

But along this journey I have begun, it appears to be fraught with danger, disappointment and dangerous enemies. Fashion photography is very demanding. Full of turn downs and difficult people. Most of all, I will not succeed nor achieve the highest level living in or near Pittsburgh. SO with that in mind, have I set my sights on an unachievable dream. Or do I really want to ascend to that level quality and experience.

Well, yes....and no.

I want to be able to provide an image that is like no other. I have been sizing up my local competition. Most are very talented. A few are uber talented. I mean WHOA! They are that good. Some are...pretty bad. I think I fall into the good category. I can produce some dang nice shots. But the areas that I need to learn in are lighting setups and posing.

Well, if that's it, I should be good to go. Um......NO! That's about 98% of the image. You can look at an image and tell if the person is properly posed. Some images just jump out and say "remember me" others are little more than a snapshot with expensive lights.

Show and tell time:
Here is what I feel are great fashion images:
Lauren Loza
Wendell Levi Teodoro

And these are good too, but not the same level:
JLP
CEM

I think there is a difference between the above photographers. One photographer she did mention was on the sucky side when he first started has gone on to do great things after he moved to LA. You can find Scott Miller here. Scott's inspiration is Sante D'Orazio

This will be a long and hard journey.

Reality bites and dreams don't put food on the table

MUCH to the chagrin of my family, I have spent the vast majority of this weekend on the computer. I have been immersing myself in images. Hundreds of portfolios and web sites, THOUSANDS of images. To 99.995 percent of the world, it's a true waste of time. To me, I am 50/50.

Step back.

My former blog gets more traffic than this current one. I guess it's true, sex and controversy sells. No sex here. The controversy is coming up. Then I will re-evaluate the sex part......

I did some data mining to pull some names from the local talent and I sent them some messages. Hopefully I can at least get one or two to respond. I don't care which one's either. I need some talent to work with. My time's a wastin'.

I realized my current portfolio is pretty substandard. Either that means I suck as a photographer or I just need models/talent that can stretch my capabilities and get some results that are worth displaying. That is why I was looking at as many images as possible. It was a bit of an information overdose. I looked at so many images that nothing really sticks out. Well, a few do, but I can't put them here....still, I hope that when the time comes, I can draw from those images and create my own.

Photographing seniors and weddings pay the bills for most people. That is where I will probably make a stake. But I have things I want to bring to the table. Things that I dream will make a name for myself. It's going to be a great ride once the boat comes in.

As I move forward in the pursuit of being a full time professional photographer. I know my vision. I see the challenges. But I am still living in the dream. It doesn't let my kids eat when I say "but I want to do....." I have to begin to perform. I have to produce images that are compelling. What I do will speak more for me than anything.

I do have something to prove.

For now, I give you these:

Not just for Christmas anymore

This message was sent to me by a LONG time friend. I thought it would be good to reflect on year round, not just Christmas.

Thank you Les!

Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares .

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.

If you send this to 5 people, then you have a chance to touch 5 people.
Working for God on earth doesn't pay much......but His retirement plan is out of this world !!!

Opportunities missed

In August I was back home in Washington for my 20 year high school reunion. I think I brought more camera stuff than clothes. Priorities.
During the course of the weekends events, I created an opportunity that would have allowed me a portrait session with a couple. One I knew well and the other I just met. Because of my schedule, and theirs, we never made that opportunity a reality.

Why is this important?

One of them was diagnosed with cancer. After an invasive surgery last month, a VERY aggressive chemotherapy plan begins today.

Even then, I was working hard to make it happen, but it just didn't. I really wish it had.